What this is

REDUX – April 27, 11 – All may soon change; where are lasting things? 1, 0, 1, deep in the heart of the iron mountain…..

This is Love: allowing GOD to speak to his poor in the silence of my heart.

I started this blog to work out “with fear and trembling” so to speak, a scandalous spirituality to keep from falling into presumption and delusion.  I was diagnosed as a schizo-affective borderline personality disorder with post-traumatic stress, between May 1st, and May 10th, 2001.

I had been living as an apostle of The Professed Chosen Vessel, a man who claimed to be the only living source for the “revealed light of prophecy” of the living God.  I do not denounce, abandon or refute any of his doctrines; however – and this is the purpose of my blog, being that, the former Chosen Vessel Paul said plainly that it is for each and every one of us to work out our Salvation FOR OURSELVES with fear and trembling.

I am drawn to monasticism and the hermit lifestyle and live my own version of it to the best of my ability.  However, I am married, and this blog is my attempt to be a chaste husband with my wife, as I travel the Catholic road to God in Christ, praying ever that my spouse will someday share my faith with me.  Until then, I learn from her questions, and am provided with ample opportunity to grow, change, and live in Obedience to the Father, with her.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Ritual of the Solitary Franciscan Penitents

The Composition of the Rite of the Solitary Franciscan Penitents (This Rite is especially beneficial to tea-drinkers, such as myself.):

Articles prescribed for communication of the Rite:

Cold drinking water; 1 large jar, and one 10-ounce jar with lid; Lemon, lime, or orange juice; Yarrow extract in grain alcohol; Rosary, and scriptural rosary book, and/or other rosary book; Journal and pen; Shell or small sacred object, such as a stone; Ginseng extract, preferably 20-years old; Charcoal, incense and/or sage for burning, censor, matches; Tea, preferably green or white; Holy Water, if available.

The communication of the long Rite: 

Recite a bouquet of Rosaries.  Using the Holy Water, make the sign of the cross. Pray the prayer of the Solitary Franciscan Penitents, in anticipation of preparing of the Yarrow; anticipate the intercession of the Supreme Supplicant, in silence, until one feels sufficiently ready to prepare the Yarrow.

(30 drops, about 7 oz of water.) Add lemon juice for flavor, and apply the lid.  Shake vigorously to keep the Yarrow from resting on the surface of the water.  Light the broken charcoal, and drop the incense.  Any kind of gum incense is acceptable, as well as sage bundles.

Invoke the power of the Holy Spirit, saying: “Come, Holy Spirit: manifest Your Power in the body, speech, and mind of your faithful.”  Draw down your spirit into your heart, and at the same time following the movement of the smoke with your eyes.  Watch it dance. When you are sufficiently made whole through your supplication and invocation, drink the Yarrow/lemon water in 7 small gulps – slowly.

Sit in quiet sapience, as long as necessary to clear the heart of unnecessary chatter.  Select a psalm or reading from the back of the Ritual of the Secular Franciscan Order.  Meditate deeply on the significance of your choice of vocation, on the loathsome character of your sins, and the necessity for ritual and prayer in your life especially.

Sip on some ginseng from time to time until it is empty while following the rest of the prescription, if there is any available.  Meditate with your chosen object, be it rest, listening, a small shell, spaciousness, and especially, the content of your chosen reading.  When you feel your attention is fully at peace, you are free to meditate in any way you feel comfortable. 

Make sure all burning articles are extinguished.

The last two instructions are very important, both so that we may consider the urgency of purifying our hearts in this life, and also so that we may overcome the love of sleep, and of self-forgetfulness.

Read with dire MINDFULNESS from the Ritual of the Secular Franciscan Order, or the Rule of the Secular Franciscan Order.  I also highly advise owning a copy of “Franciscan Solitude”.

In a bed, that has been prepared and made, lay, men on the right side, and women on the left, having set an alarm for 45 minutes.  This final part of the ritual involves imagination and fancy, and will free you to communicate the Rite at all times, mindfully, and especially when drinking a cup of tea.

Again using the Holy Water, make the Sign of the Cross.  Repeat one of the four prayers: “The Annunciation”, “The Praise of the Father”, “The Supplication to Mary”, or the “Supplication to Jesus”, only when the mind begins to wander.  Clearing the mind of all images, silently pray until you are granted a vision, and once you become drawn through the Blessed Virgin into the Vision, give up all attachment, and let yourself drift into sleep, until your alarm wakes you up.

This is the conclusion of the Communication of the Rite of the Solitary Franciscan Penitents.

The Daughters of Musick

^{Lam 5:14} The elders have deserted the gateway; the young have given up their music. ¹⁵ Joy has vanished from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning.

Does the sun shine in the land of the dead?

See the Summary Materials for today, August 26, 2010.

The question, carrying over from Habakkuk, concerns me greatly, for I hear the music in the early morning, and when the day has drawn close, and the sun goes to the land of the dead, I am confronted by disheartening greetings of foolish people who will soon die.

This music is my presumption, the sin of my youth that has deluded me to gross vainglory.  The strange greetings as I begin to follow the sun into its sanctuary, are indicative of a similar folly, that I grew so strong in the surety of my hope (like lading myself with thick clay i.e. debts I cannot repay), and, having made no progress at all, failed to win the crown, and going down into purgatory once again, I am not prepared.

So serious is this sin that is closely associated with awaking and falling asleep, that I now abandon all hope, clinging to the songs of the morning, and the prayers of the night, with no conception in my heart of what has been, or what shall be.

This is my time of spiritual espousal, and I shall not abandon it for anything.  The point from yesterday’s summary material, is that the vision contained in the book of prophecy and scripture, being the Bible, shows us how utterly helpless we are to save ourselves, how unsure it all really is; how grave the matter is.

I may die tomorrow, having not attained to the Spiritual Marriage, and this scares me more than I can say.  The terror I experienced in my conversion does not even compare to that of the actuality of this sublime fear of God.  The point of the Bible, is not that we will die someday.  This is like the man who cannot read, presented with the great secret of life.

The point of the Bible, is that THE WORLD WILL END someday.  This is like the one who can read, presented with the great secret of life (scripture).  For men believe in their hearts in ludicrous doctrines such as reincarnation and “enlightenment”, unaware that the Bible itself contains a vision of the end of the world.  The “secret” that is sealed, is a mystery in the Bible.

Just as yesterday when we learned in Habakkuk of the man who abused his credit, amassing great wealth that he never intended on paying for, knowing that he would die someday-”How Long”?  But the real judgment comes when men are most asleep, believing that the Bible is about the life we live from waking to sleeping.  When in actuality, it is about the order of the world from inception to destruction.  I quote:  “Surely wealth is treacherous!”.

If a man believes that he shall escape the Revelation in a hummer, and many folks do believe just this, it is because the Bible sealed by a great secret that must be understood, but as the quote from Isaiah proves, neither the learned or the unlearned can read it.

The great angel on the waters of the River, however, in Daniel 12, tells us this:

4 ‘But you, Daniel, must keep these words secret and keep the book sealed until the time of the End. Many will roam about, this way and that, and wickedness will continue to increase.’

5 I, Daniel, then looked and saw two other people standing, one on the near bank of the river, the other on the far.

6 One of them said to the man dressed in linen who was standing further up the stream, ‘How long until these wonders take place?’

What are the wonders of the Bible?  Is it like the Exodus?  An event in the past, perhaps, when God forgave the presumption of the ones he loved?  Or does it perhaps, contain a mystery of things to come, like the life of the Nazirite, Jehushua the Christ?

Time, and only persistence in singing psalms, and the prayer of the heart.  This will cure us of our presumption.

8/26/10 Hesitation

^{Habakkuk 2:6 KJV} Shall not all these take up a parable against him, and a taunting proverb against him, and say, Woe to him that increaseth that which is not his! how long? and to him that ladeth himself with thick clay!

^{Isaiah 29:11 NJB} For to you every vision has become like the words of a sealed book. You give it to someone able to read and say, ‘Read that.’ He replies, ‘I cannot, because it is sealed.’ ¹² You then give the book to someone who cannot read, and say, ‘Read that.’ He replies, ‘I cannot read.’

Daniel 12:6 NJB One of them said to the man dressed in linen who was standing further up the stream, ‘How long until these wonders take place?’

7 I heard the man speak who was dressed in linen, standing further up the stream: he raised his right hand and his left to heaven and swore by him who lives for ever, ‘A time and two times, and half a time; and all these things will come true, once the crushing of the holy people’s power is over.’

8 I listened but did not understand. I then said, ‘My lord, what is to be the outcome?’

9 ‘Go, Daniel,’ he said. ‘These words are to remain secret and sealed until the time of the End.

8/25/10 – PERSISTENCE

^{August 25, 2010}

^{JOHN 14   1} Do not let your hearts be troubled. You trust in God, trust also in me. ² In my Father’s house there are many places to live in; otherwise I would have told you. I am going now to prepare a place for you, ³ and after I have gone and prepared you a place, I shall return to take you to myself, so that you may be with me where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going. ⁵ Thomas said, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going, so how can we know the way?’ ⁶ Jesus said: I am the Way; I am Truth and Life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

^{HABAKKUK 2  1} I shall stand at my post, I shall station myself on my watch-tower, watching to see what he will say to me, what answer he will make to my complaints. ² Then Yahweh answered me and said, ‘Write the vision down, inscribe it on tablets to be easily read. ³ For the vision is for its appointed time, it hastens towards its end and it will not lie; although it may take some time, wait for it, for come it certainly will before too long. ⁴ ‘You see, anyone whose heart is not upright will succumb, but the upright will live through faithfulness.’ ⁵ Now, surely, wealth is treacherous! He is arrogant, for ever on the move, with appetite as large as Sheol and as insatiable as Death, gathering in all the nations, and making a harvest of all peoples. ⁶ Are not the peoples all bound to satirise and make up cryptic riddles about him? As for instance: Disaster to anyone who amasses goods not his (for how long?) and to anyone who weighs himself down with goods taken in pledge!

^{HEBREWS 10  32} Remember the great challenge of the sufferings that you had to meet after you received the light, in earlier days; ³³ sometimes by being yourselves publicly exposed to humiliations and violence, and sometimes as associates of others who were treated in the same way. ³⁴ For you not only shared in the sufferings of those who were in prison, but you accepted with joy being stripped of your belongings, knowing that you owned something that was better and lasting. ³⁵ Do not lose your fearlessness now, then, since the reward is so great. ³⁶ You will need perseverance if you are to do God’s will and gain what he has promised. ³⁷ Only a little while now, a very little while, for come he certainly will before too long. ³⁸ My upright person will live through faith but if he draws back, my soul will take no pleasure in him. ³⁹ We are not the sort of people who draw back, and are lost by it; we are the sort who keep faith until our souls are saved.

Spiritual Espousal: Hesitation

^{1 Thess. 5:3} It is when people are saying, ‘How quiet and peaceful it is’ that sudden destruction falls on them, as suddenly as labour pains come on a pregnant woman; and there is no escape.

The Goal is to accomplish the end for which God destined me when I was created as a human person.  It would be ludicrous to believe that this is an easy task, and yet, to all stops and gangways, it is!

My method prescribed is to live much as the hermits of pre-Fransiscan Europe; however not because this is something that I want, but because my time is not yet.

To sometimes advance in spiritual espousal, and to sometimes retreat, I know the word of God cannot go unfulfilled.  Persistence in both of these secures safety from falling into the illusion of the Devil, as God brings the creation from nothing, through dispute and uncertainty, into perfection.

Attached to this are three inter-connected verses, which I shall comment on in the next week or so, concerning the very grave situation we are all in, no matter how few of us are aware of, or are willing to concede to.  The theme to consider during the time of our meditation on this through the next week, is to not lose heart; and that means persistence.

So persistence is key to success in this scandalous life; we shall consider it until I write more on the subject of these three verses.  Persistence, and living a life fully aware of the danger of “prophecies of peace and safety”, for this is the summation we are waiting for from El Elyon.

When I feel safe, I must be suspicious, cautious.  But this is important: to feel danger, and yet be safe.  For consider the alternative, for, as far as I am concerned, this caution is the best way for me to live.

And so, during my interment throughout the day I must not go outside, or be seen by any, especially women, unless I have dire business – I must not even look outside through the windows –

SEE THE SUMMARY MATERIALS FOR 8/25/10

Search the Scriptures

What is the purpose of the silent life, and the investigation of scripture?

Lamentations 3 is a simple delineation of the sufferings of those who belong to God, who love God, and make it a vocation to be open to live joyfully a life of public participation in the mystery of his identity.

The author of Lamentations, close to the heart of God’s will, makes no apologies for the punishments God places on his chosen friends, while the wicked live freely, even mocking them in their seeming hour of desertion.  Men are confused by this bizarre truth, believing God is somehow not real or fair, because the just man is scorned, and the wicked grows fat with his portion.  But Lamentations 3, if you would take the time to read it, very clearly contrasts what appears to be an unequal balance of consequences.

It makes perfect sense. Punishment is experienced for the sake of salvation, but God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked.  It is a knotty problem, this; that a man suffers for the salvation of the man who turns from his wickedness.  The skeptic scoffs at virtue because he does not research things like Lamentations 3, or Ezekiel 18, or Isaiah 55.  He sees the good man violated, and the wasteful man, who is like a Devil, puts further doubt in his mind by advertising his spurious good fortune.

But what does it mean in Lamentations 3:27 – “It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth” – i.e. – to do the will of God at an early age.  Why is this, because if a man holds fast to his iniquity his whole life, only to repent the hour of his death; can we possibly know that there is any reason to continue a life that is a perpetual trial of spirit by the thought and imagination of a God who seems so unfair?

Indeed, the young man who bears the yoke of the will of God forfeits joy in the world, even the loss of the innocent joys of youth.

Also as well, in Ezekiel 18, God clearly shows that a man who bears with the will of God early, and forfeits it for an abomination (wickedness), his virtuous deeds will not be remembered.  How is this fair?  We wonder.  But God proves to us that our way, all men’s ways, are unfair.  The problem is an unequal one.  And so, the solution is an unequal one.

Fairness dictates then, that we learn, and learn early, not to resist any evil, but to engage it peacefully, for it is in doing this that we derive pleasure out of performing the mysterious will of God.  Ezekiel 18 is about the rewards of personal responsibility and the dangers of neglecting personal responsibility.  God tells us that we cannot be bound by the errors that others make, even our own family.  It is we who must establish a reputation with God, or be forgotten.

God invites us to participate in his grace.  This means abandoning ourselves to a better life in the spirit of poverty.  Isaiah 55 repeats this same lesson of forgiveness which should be the cornerstone of our mission in life from the beginning.  What is begun in the error of our ways of living, finds ground and perspective, and reaches its climax in the everlasting joy, which is rooted in forgiveness.  This poverty is not positioned against what we lack, but rather what we no longer feel worthy of our labor.  What happy news this is!  “Heed me, and you shall eat well, you shall delight in rich fare”.  This paschal meal is the word of God itself, above what any man esteems of value.

We no longer question God because of unjustified lives.  Mercy is abounding, and, if our demands are reasonable, we will be called upon by God to a life we never imagined!  Let the poor man not covet the excesses that plague the rich, which keep him from entering into the refreshing dialog of the spirit.  Isaiah 55 contains the well-known quotation “my word shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it”.

The aged know what this demands.  Let the young learn this early, and find joy in the unutterable Glory of consolation in scripture.  It is the will of God that all of his creatures should return to him, the destination which he has appointed for all men.  When men turn from vanity, and participate in creation by investigating the sign of hope which he has hidden in plain sight, then God’s Fame shall no longer be a curse, but the explanation of his method of perfecting our souls; alien to us, but by no means too good for us.

“Search the scriptures; for in them you think you have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.”  John 5:39